I will rule the world

I picked up a paper for the first time in a long time (other than to do the crossword, the jumble, or read the comics). It was a Lumberjack. There was a question they asked several students and printed their responses. The question was, “what is your diabolic plan to take over the world?” Here’s my response:

I would acquire a company that profited from war to generate capital. I would engage in covert activities to perpetuate war. I would use the capital to acquire property rights or political control of as many of the world’s freshwater sources as possible. I would also purchase and expand business activities that perpetuate global warming. I would aggressively squash efforts to develop desalination technology. As the freshwater supply dwindles due to ice melting, I would control the world. The only thing more fundamental than water is air.